Love is Painful
by Conan-Ai
Summary: Haibara discovered her feelings for Conan, yet she is afraid, afraid of being not accepted by him. So she decided to remain as Haibara, while help Conan transform back to Kudo Shinichi...How would it end? Conan x Ai
1. Chapter 1

"I love him...I really do." Haibara murmured to herself softly, while typing on the computer, still working for the cure of APTX 4869. She could hear Hakase snoring distantly; other than that, dead silence.

When the sun was just peeping over the hilltops, Haibara stopped, and tried to smile. It is done. Yet...Instead of a smile, a tear rolled down her cheek. He would be gone soon.

"Here, Kudo-kun." Haibara handed him the tiny capsule. "Take it. I finished it."

Conan took the capsule, his face lit up with joy, but then he asked with a frown on his face, "What about you, Haibara? Surely...You made two?"

_Caring about me even at this time..._Haibara thought, a slight blush coming across her face. "Of course I'm also taking it." She scoffed. Little does Conan know that she only put plain flour in her capsule…

_I am still a devil at heart; however I don't want to be one. I will just stay like Ai...And never be Shiho again._ Haibara closed her eyes briefly to stop the tears spilling over her cheeks.

Haibara looked up at Conan. She could see and sense at once he is very happy…To go back into Kudo Shinichi, and be with Ran again…

"Here we go, Haibara." Conan held his capsule up and swallowed it with water. Haibara did the same, but she knew the miracle is only going to happen on Conan.


	2. Chapter 2

Conan, no, Kudo Shinichi woke up, still dazed from the pain when he was transforming. He looked around, and saw the clothes he wore when he was 17 beside him. _She is considerate..._Shinichi thought. Thinking of Haibara, where did she go?

At that time, Haibara was hiding under her bed, sobbing silently while holding Akemi's photo. "Oh sister..." She whispered. "Why is love so painful? The feeling of loving someone is wondrous, yet..." Haibara broke into tears again, but stopped abruptly as she heard her bedroom door open.

"Haibara…No, Miyano? Shinichi called out. "Don't hide under the bed anymore." Haibara held her breath. "Jeez, it's so obvious. The sheets are crumpled, there are strands of your hair beside the bed, and I can hear you breathing."

"Neh, Kudo-kun." Haibara said in a quiet voice. "Promise me one thing, will you?"

"What is it?" Shinichi asked.

"When I come out...Don't be surprise or angry, okay?"

Shinichi snorted. "Whatever. Are you coming out, or are you going to stay there forever?"

Haibara tightened her fist, and crawled out under her bed.

Shinichi's eyes widened. "You...You...You didn't change back?" He yelled. "WHY!?"

"That's none of your business." Haibara retorted. "And you promised me not to get angry!"

"But...But..." Shinichi spluttered. "You..."

"JUST GO!!!!!" Haibara shouted. "LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!! Go back to your school, to your old life...To..." But Haibara didn't get the chance of saying the last bit. Shinichi already left. "...To Ran." Haibara finished her sentence, while more tears splattered onto the floor.

"Hurry up, Shinichi!" Ran yelled impatiently as she waited for Shinichi to turn the corner. "Why are you always doodling there?" Shinichi didn't' reply. This is where they often met the primary school kids, so maybe...Maybe he will see Haibara...

A week passed since he was back to Kudo Shinichi, and during this period of time, he knows that Haibara is avoiding him. Professor Hakase told him that Haibara was moody and down after Shinichi left her. He wondered how she is coping with it...

What bothers him the most is that he keeps thinking about Haibara: he doesn't understand. He can finally be with Ran now, yet he missed her scorns, her cold looks, and even the rare smile she shows sometimes...

"SHINICHI!" Ran particularly deafened his ears. "What are you doing, still moping around? Ah, could it be...That you are missing Conan?"

"Huh?" Shinichi stared blankly at her. Professor Hakase told Ran that Conan was brought back to America, so the problem of Conan's disappearance was solved. "That's not it, baka!" Shinichi retorted.

Haibara smiled wistfully as she saw Shinichi and Ran bickering. _That's how things should be..._She thought sadly, and trudged towards her school.

Haibara turned the corner to Hakase's house at twilight, fearing that she would see Kudo-kun. She opened the gates, and froze, as she saw who was standing at the front door.

_Kudo-kun._


	3. Chapter 3

"What are you doing here?" Haibara asked icily. "Didn't I tell you not to bother me again?"

"Calm down Ai-chan, no, Shiho-chan." Shinichi replied. "I...I came here to tell you, to tell you something REALLY important."

"DO NOT CALL ME BY MY FIRST NAME!!!!!" Haibara shouted angrily. "And I don't want to here whatever you want to say!" She whipped around, and started to run towards the iron gates.

"Wait, Shiho!" Shinichi moved swiftly, and caught Haibara's wrist. To Haibara's surprise, he pulled her into a tight hug.

"What the..." Haibara struggled to free herself, only to find herself being pulled closely.

"Baka..." Shinichi whispered softly. "You really don't get it, do you?" He took a deep breath. "I...I thought it over, and, and I...LOVE YOU!!!!!" He blushed at what he just sad, but felt relived that he got it out. Though...Will Shiho accept it? She always seems so cold and mysterious...

"You, you love me?" Haibara repeated Shinichi's words, as if she was in a dream. Haibara felt tears welled up in her ears, and she didn't try to stop it this time.

"What's the matter?" Shinichi asked worriedly. He seldom sees Haibara cry, and he was both puzzled and nervous. Is she rejecting him? "I, I'm really sorry about it, I mean, it's fine if you, you know, just reject me, but I..." Shinichi's eyes widened, as Haibara's soft lips met with his, cutting off his sentence.

"I...I always loved you," Haibara replied gently as they broke up, "And I always will love you." She smiled, and embraced Shinichi. "I want to tell you about this from a long time ago..."

"Now you told me at last." Shinichi hugged her back. "Can you make another cure for yourself...And be with me...Forever?" He surprised her by pulling out a red velvet box, which of course, contains an engagement ring.

"Of course I can." The usual smirk returned to Haibara's face. "And yes, I...I would love to be with you forever." Shinichi took Haibara's hands, and they walked back towards Hakase's house together, smiling happily.

_Well, maybe love isn't that painful, sister...You must just have faith in your love...And it will blossom..._Haibara looked up to the sky, which she can be sure Akemi is pleased with her in Heaven.


End file.
